By Most Worshipful Grand Master of Masons in Wisconsin Brother Jeff Schoenfeldt
Valentine’s Day holds no official significance within Freemasonry. We do not revere or celebrate Saint Valentine the way we do the Holy Saints John (June 24 and December 27), which marks key moments in our calendars of light, balance, and reflection.
That said, many Freemasons embrace February 14th as an opportunity to celebrate and express our core Masonic principles – particularly Brotherly Love; which, along with relief and truth, is one of the three great tenets of our fraternity. As Freemasons, we understand that Brotherly Love extends beyond our fraternal bonds as Masons and teaches us to encompass charity, kindness, affection, and devotion in our relationships, both with our Brothers and with our families.
Beyond its romantic definition, “love” is a deliberate, enduring commitment built on trust, mutual support, and moral integrity. That basic definition of love mirrors the symbolic cement that binds all of us together in the harmony of Freemasonry – and in the harmony of our homes and lives.
When we think of Brotherly Love, foremost in our minds should be that of our obligation – not just to harmony, but to support the loved ones a fallen Brother leaves behind after God calls him Home: our promise to protect and love our Masonic widows. They are part of our obligation because Freemasons before us understood the realities of loneliness and the fragility of life – and they wanted that assurance, that peace of mind, that when their time comes, their Brothers are going to make sure that the loves of their lives will be looked after and taken care of.
Over time, however, I feel we have comfortably-distanced ourselves from this obligation. We reassure ourselves that these Ladies will be supported by governmental safety nets, their children and families, or their church, neighbors, and friends. But as much as it hurts to lose our Brother – think of how they feel. They have lost that constant companion and that person that they have depended upon for so many years.
So at our recent Wisconsin Freemasonry Winter Staff Meeting, we set our “Brotherly Love Committee” (Chaired by Brother Jan Talaga, our Grand Marshal) to the task of coming up with four times a year we can reach out to our Masonic Widows in the hopes of making their days easier and brighter. They came up with four as a divider of the seasons – but feel free to build upon this framework and have even more frequent outreach to these incredibly important Ladies.
Spring: Make contact with the widow and see if she needs any help around the house, be that with spring cleaning or helping to clear the yard of leaves or debris from the winter. Consider sending a card for Mother’s Day – and/or on her birthday.
Summer: Invite them to a Lodge event over the summer. A good idea would be for a picnic held during the day to decrease nighttime driving. Offer to have someone from the Lodge pick her up and drive her back home. At this event, present them with the Masonic Widow’s pin to help make them feel special and as a tribute to your fallen Brother.
Autumn: As the holidays approach, those are often the loneliest times for our widows. Invite them to any Thanksgiving or Christmastime meals you might be planning – and consider delivering a plant (many Lodges do poinsettias – but remember that if the widow has cats, she likely can’t have that in her house) and a card. Have a couple of Brothers with you when delivering to underscore that we are there for her. This is also a good opportunity for the Brothers to see if maybe she could use a little help around the house but just hasn’t asked for it.
Winter: as new officers are about to take their positions, use that opportunity to reach out to invite Masonic widows to the officer installation and meal (again, offer to have someone drive her). Verify their contact information and ensure that they are receiving the Wisconsin Masonic Journal and Lodge communications (newsletters, alerts for Lodge events, etc.); that contact keeps them apprised of what’s going on at Lodge, the good your Lodge is doing in the community, and includes them into your Masonic family. Relay to her contact information of Brothers in the Lodge she can call on should she need emergency help in clearing snow, starting her car, etc.
While Valentine’s Day might not be a Masonic holiday, it aligns beautifully with Freemasonry’s emphasis on cultivating virtue in all aspects of life. It serves as a gentle prompt for Freemasons to labor for love – not just one day, but everyday – through acts of kindness, gratitude, and steadfast devotion to family and Brothers.
True Masonic character shines brightest in the quiet, everyday expressions of care that strengthen and support both our Masonic families and our communities. Keep being the good in the world, my Brothers!
